te sa vu!!!

Its french…it means "Shut up!"

Ben,

Mahal…bakit ang mahal ng bilihin sa 164 ngayon! Ang dating 200 pesos makabibili ka na ng isang set ng damit: polo, pants, sapatos, meron pang accessories…. Ngayon ang 200 pesos matinong sapatos nalang ang mabibili mo… Ang dating 60pesos na ticket sa sinehan ay 120 na ngayon… ultimo popcorn isang malaking bungkos noon ay isang baso nalang ngayon!!! Ang bigas na dati nakakalat lang sa palengke ay isang kilometro ang pila para lang makabili ng 5kilo. Hay naku!!! Ang mahal naman!!!

Oo nga pala..napag-alaman kong hindi ka pala ampon o anak sa labas.. Pasensya ka na sa wrong info. Ang kupal kasi nung source ko! Huwag kang mag-alala…tunay mong magulang ang mga kasama mo… kaya linisin mo na ang kulungan nila… pakainin mo sila ng masarap na saging dahil baka magutom sila… magtanim ka ng puno sa bakuran mo okay!!!

sincerely yours and trully,

Pareng Berbaks

Grumaduate ako ng college na hindi alam ang spelling ng Balloon! Akala ko ito’y single "l" double "o". Mali pala. Hindi naman kasi ito tinuturo sa eskwela… Kumbaga parang Intuition mo nalang ang gamitin mo para malaman ang mga simpleng bagay na ito. Parang "common sense".

Pero things change… parang presyo ng bigas at value ng peso…

Ang "common sense" pwede nang ituro sa bata! Meron na tayong special class para sa mga taong wala talagang alam sa common sense o never pang nakaattend ng lesson tungkol dito. May offering na 40 hours, 60 hours hangang 100 hour session. Straight yan walang bladder break o lunch break! Pero kung gusto mo talagang mamaster ang common sense pwede kang mag-enroll. Nag-oofer ang Harvard ng course tungkol sa common sense. BS Common Sense. After 4 years. Swak na Degree Holder kana! Pwede kang magtrabaho kahit saang field ng science basta ginagamitan ng common sense. Kung gusto mong maging pulis! Pwede! Kung gusto mong maging driver? Pwede! Kung gusto mong maging scientist ? Pwede! Kung gusto mong maging presidente ng Pilipinas…kahit hindi ka tapos…yakang yaka! Pwede ka ring maging sculptor o scientist..

Pwede kang magturo assuring na master’s degree holder ka! Kung gusto mo ituloy mo ng Doctoral. Pwede ka ring maging Doctor. Kapag tinanong ka ng pasyente kung ano ang sakit niya sabihin mo lang na hindi niya kailangang mag-alala dahil mamatay na siya at iyon ang kapalaran ng lahat ng tao. "Its just common sense! Duh!" hirit mo pa sabay tawa "Bwahahaha!!"

Kaya lang… hindi ka pwedeng pumasok sa seminaryo at magutloy ng pagpapari. Dahil hindi naman ginagamitan ng common sense ang religion.. Kaya nga usong uso ang religion sa mga tao eh, kasi madali lang siyang matutunan kahit na zero ka sa Common Sense… However… forever…whenever…whoever…cadaver! Ang taong graduate ng BS Common Sense ay mahihirapang matutunan ang religion.

May isang graduate ng BS Common Sense, sinubukan lang niyang alamin ang religion. After 2 weeks nakaconfine na siya sa Mental Hospital! Nakakawindang! Wala na akong balita sa kanya ngayon… grabe!!!

Anyway…ang kursong BS Common Sense ay murang mura lang. Inaabot lang ng 12 pesos per sem. Kahit namamalimos sa lansangan ay pwedeng mag-enroll kaya lang… isang requirement that students fail to give is "focus"! Kailangan mong i-let go ang iyong dreams, beliefs, love life at lahat pa…

Maraming taong nagtangkang matuto. Sa ngayon… wala miski isa sa kanila ang nakatapos ng course na ito. Pero marami pa rin ang gustong mag-enroll.

Ano? Gusto mo pa bang matuto ng common sense?

Kilala mo ba sha?

::::p Sino’ng may kagagawan ng lahat ng itoooooOOOOO!!!! 

me: (emote) Si Ben!!!

Si Ben na hindi nagbabayad ng pamasahe!!!

Si Ben na may walang kinalaman sa global warming!!!

Si Ben na galit sa F4! (Dao Ming Xi!!!)

Si Ben na sumugod sa DIsney Land at nagpapicture kay Betty the pooh!

Si Ben na ang tanging kasalanan ay maging ampon!

::::p Whaat! Ampon si Ben?

me: Oo ampon siya…

::::p akala ko ba anak siya sa labas!

me: Si Ben na anak sa labas? Ibang show yun…

::::p Owss!! joker!!!

me: (mimicking) Ows…barberow! Kung ayaw mong maniwala edi wag mo!!!

::::p Gaga!!! Ako si Ben!!!

me: (stunned)

Moral Lesson: may mas nonsense pa ba sa mga adventure ni Spongebob? Oo… iyon ay ang blog na toh!!! Bwahaha!

The Adventures of Berbux…

First day: Meet Sadako

Tama hindi ka namamalikmata! SIya nga yan! Si Sadako, the superstar of the industry of horror movie… And..we are actually best of friends…. parang chubachuchu* Though, she frequently appears in unlikely moments.. Lagi kami nagkukwentuhan! Bigtime pala tong kaibigan ko! Naimbita daw siya sa MTV awards..at ang lola mo nanalo ng Scariest character in a horror movie!

Nagchikahan pa kami tungkol sa mga latest fashion sa underworld. At uso daw doon and mga white beuty products! Actually, magkakaroon daw siya ng comercial sa PLacenta doon eh…Oh di ba! Sosyalan to the max! At ang famous lines niya doon, "My name is Sadako… I love white… whte looks good….

Anyway…I mish u bestfriend!!! Next time na magkita tayo…pagusapan naman natin ang mga usong manicure style sa underworld!!!

Second day: Meeting the two talking bus chairs

Meet Boo(left) and Bu(right). I really enjoyed discoursing my life to these two incredible creatures. At grabe… mukhang natahimik talaga sila sa mga sinabi ko ah!!!  I guest they are so amazed to my unbelievable communication skills!

Hangang sa last stop ng bus… si Boo nakatawa si Bu naman nakangiti lang sakin… 

Anyway… I miss you guys…enjoy being quiet for the rest of your life!!!

Third Day: I found the entrance to the secret world of the MATRIX

Actually my counsins and I discovered these secret doors where anyone can enter and explore the wonder of the never-before-seen world of the unknown! As long as malakas ang loob mo! Malay mo ma meet mo pa sila Morpheus, Trinity at si Neo!!! Astig!!!

+++the end+++

Sheng ri Kuai le!!!

   :::p It means happy birthday…

Mandarin’s aint so hard… parang sumusundut ka lang ng kulangot gamit ang kaldero!!! oops… gross ba?

Para kang nag-aaral ng Greek Mythology! Maraming mystery! Maraming twist! Pasikut sikot na parang labyrinth!

O kaya para kang nagknit ng isang daang sweat shirt!!! Ang tagal bago mo matapos! Ang tagal bago mo ma master! Grabe! –pero kung ikaw si ka-pepe a.k.a JR (jose rizal) baka 6 months pwede ka nang magsulat ng nobela in Mandarin! Hanep!

Haaaay…buhay!!!

Honestly… I don’t think I look like chinese…

with the big eyes and flat nose… I look more like someone from the ancient tribe of polynesia!

with those eye glasses behind the supposedly straight hair…but it curled after removing the tiring pony tail!

*Sige na nga! May magagawa pa ba ako…kapag tatay na nag-advise…*

Ito nga pala ang chinese symbol ng Brlyn/Berlin…ang hirap isulat niyan ha… wala akong tiyaga diyan… baka conversational chinese lang ang ifocus ko muna… mag start ako ng inductive!!!

 Pogi! pwede mo ba akong turuan magChinese!!! pleaasee…  

LESSON 1: BASIC GREETINGS

:::p Nihao, Berlin chang je!

me: Nihao? U like inihaw sir! Delicious filipino foods!

::::p No no.. Nihao! as in hello!

me: eh marunong ka palang mag-ingles eh! Gini gg mo ko?!

::::p I’m your friend! Kaibigan! Nihao!

me: Oh! Marunong kapalang magtagalog! Kukutusan kita diyan eH!

::::p [*sign]

-end-

LESSON 2: INTRODUCE YOURSELF

:::p Ni hao ma?

me: (Berlin introduce yourself)  Sha sha shabuya! Shabuya! Sha sha shabuya! Shabuya! Yeah yeah! Yeah! Break it down!!!

::::p Sira…

-end-

LESSON 3: ASKING QUESTION

::::p Ni hao ma? (hangang ngayon Ni hao ma pa rin ang lesson natin!!!)

me: (serious mode)  Uhmmm… Wo bu nan shuo! [I can’t say!]

::::p Huh?

me: I feel great! Great feeling me!

::::p Ahh….in Mandarin please!

me: Dao Ming Xi! Hana Kimi! F4! Wo ai ni!!! xie xie!!! [blink*]

::::p W T F!

-end-

++++and thats the end of our lesson for today++++

+++I hope you had a good time learning Mandarin+++

Ooops! I just threw my phone into the trash bag!

 ***

|- Ooops! I just threw my phone into the trash bag! I locked it away!

|| - Why?Bakit?

||| - Simply because I’m so bored! I don’t care if its worth a lot! I don’t care if it has sentimental value! Because its not helping me anymore!

|||| - I just hated the way that phone interacts with its owner……who happens to be me!!! I don’t want to read anymore text messages!

||||| - UrghHHHH!!! whatever!!

|||||| - I can’t take it anymore! So, I threw it away! Bwahahahaha!

"Hatred is a monster… it sniff the sweetness of your soul leaving it bitter. It steal the warmth of your body, leaving it cold. It engulf you wholly and it stays in you until you rot.

ThE shOwbiZ princesS

  There are 2 kinds of princess I came up with. First, the real-life princess, who are born in royalty and race to project an honorable image in the society. This includes the member of the elite for examples: Princess Diana, Paris Hilton, etc. etc. The second kind of princess is what the masses love not only because they are entertaining but also they have captured our hearts and opened our awareness upon the twisted point of view about people living a high class lifestyle. They are the showbiz princess, played by actors portraying the role of a royal princess. This excludes animated characters such as Snowwhite, CInderella, Jasmin (Aladin), etc. etc.

 I enlisted the popular showbiz princess that I encountered for 17 years of watching tv.

One:)     Anna Hathaway of Princess Diaries 1 & 2

oo::::::The ever famous for young girls in this generation is the Walt Disney Movie, Princess Diaries! It is a story of a San Franciscan girl who used to be an ordinary high school student but it turn out that she is basically a royal blood. How surprising!!!

Two:)     Yoon Eun Hye of Princess Hours

oo::::: This lovely Korean actor/singer is perfect for the role (if not the producers should have hired me!!! Bwahaha! *Charing!) The story encircles about the lovestory of the prince and Jannelle, who used to be an ordinary student and only consider herself a princess inside her home. It turns out that fate really wanted her to be a princess when she was arranged in a marriage with the prince! Hurray! Wait a minute… How is that possible??? Oh well, that’s life! Who knows maybe someone in your neighborhood is one of the Sultan’s long lost illigitimate daughter!!!

Three:)      Angela Chang of Romatic Princess

oo:::::: This young talented singer/actor, played the role of Mai Qui Sui, a 17-year-old middle class high school student who has dreamed to live in a mansion. One day, her parents revealed to her that she was the missing grandaughter of the wealthiest man in Asia! ::::Wow! At least she’s not stuck in the twisted world of royal-bloods with crown and thrones… though, its kinda related somehow!

 Four:)     Camille Pratz (1996) and Sharlene San Pedro (2007) of Princess Sarah

oo::::: The story is a remake of the animated series Princess Sarah, produced by Nipon Animation, based on Fraces Hodgson Burnett’s novel, A little princess (wikipedia.com). It started when Sarah Crew, a student in Canada, received the news that her father passed away in an accident, Miss Minchint, the principal of the school, agreed that Sarah must work inexchange of her stay. This is an awkward story of a princess who experience abuse as a slave. In the end, she was salvaged by a friend of her father and forgave those who mistreated her.

+++Aja! princess!!!+++