Text Jokes dOsssss

September 22, 2008

“Hindi ko pa nararanasan ang magmahal kahit minsan…”

                                  —-Fish ball—-

“Pano makakabuo kung hindi ako papatong sayo…”

                                —-Lego—-

“Bakit mo akong binibitin kung kelan kainitan at basang-basa ako”

                               —-sinampay—-

“Painitin mo ako…kailangan kong pumutok para ako’y matikman at ika’y masarapan”

                                —–popcorn—-

 ”Umamin ka! ginusto mo rin naman ako diba?! Bakit ngayon nahihirapan ka sakin!? ganun na ba ako kaistorbo sayo?”

                              —-bangs—–

 

When I was a kid….

my nurse used to tell me…

“Someday, you’ll find that special someone who’ll be with you forever.”

I just smiled and said….

“Whatever yaya, you’re such a loser!”

 

2 estudyante naiwan sa classroom

Boy: wla na yung mga clasm8s natin. Taun nalang dito, anu tara?

Girl: anung tara?

Boy: sus, anu bayan. Bilisan mo na

Girl: ah ganung. Bat dto? Cge na nga.

(nagmamadaling naghubad ang girl student)

Girl: tara na.

Boy: Bakit ka naghubad? Tara uwi na din tau…*tanga….

 

Sabi niya maganda siya?

pansin ko nga……….mula ulo….

mukhang paa………

A girl was involve with an uglyman,

her friends asked her, “why he?”

then the girl replied immediately

“haller! D kba nanunuod ng Beauty and the Beast? Pu-pogi din xa!”

the guy heard this and he said

“Excuse me?! Napanood mo ba yung SHREK??”

 

CLASS: Mam! Ang baho po dito may umutot!!!

Ma’am: Ok class, sino man and umutot bibigyan ko ng 95 na grade!

PEDRO: Mam ako po…100 niyo na mam…natae din kasi ako konte….

 

PEDRO: naloko ko yung tindera kanina!Wahaha!

JUAN: Paano mo naman naloko yung tindera?

PEDRO: nagpaload ako …. eh wala naman akong cellphone… nyahaha!!!

 

DAD: (holding two toys, leting his son choose)

Si barbie o si superman?

SON: Si superman.

DAD: Good! (then he left)

SON: OMG! Superman ang gwapo gwapo mo talaga

bakat na bakat!!!

MGA SIMPLENG PANGARAP….

PEDRO: gusto ko maging nurse para makatulong sa kAPWA

ERNING: ako doctor para makagamot na KAPWA

NENE: ako superhero para makasagip ng nagigipit na KAPWA

KIKO: ako mayor, tutulungan ko KAPWA ko!

LINO: ako presidente…maglilingkod ako sa KAPWA

JUAN TAMAD: ako gusto ko maging…..KAPWA…para tiba-tiba

I think I passed Pharm-class

September 17, 2008

  -Poker is a tricky game but College life is trickier.-

I think I passed Pharma class after the past excruciating months of carving my self on the book or the unconvinscing summary from the professor. I have excerted a lot of effort in making a passing grade… Still I must not be confident because the final exam is near to come and if I get a grade of 60% there, I will still get 80. But my target grade is 2.0 which ranges from 85-87 ( I guest). Even if I get 90% on the final exam, I will just get 84.6% and its part of the rule not to estimate grades.

Tuluy tuloy na toh!!!****

Sayang* pwede na sana akong magsaya pero mukang hindi ko pa rin mababawe ang grades ko.

Anyway…. I learned a lot of things today including “The Same Attraction”. As long as you want (with all your heart) and paid a lot of efforts to make it happen, you will by the grace of …..God…  (at least I was able to say the name again.)

 

Olympic faves

August 20, 2008

 These are my favorite olympic players….

 Dinara Safina, 19 of Russia… though, she wasn’t able to get the gold on the olympics… she played a really good game… (Pic from German Open)

Last olympics amature player now the fastest man, Usain Bolt from Jamaica won the Men’s 100m dash unbelievably beating the world record by 0.1 seconds. Mabuhay brad!!!

 Michael Phelps…yeah!!! Despite of winning amazingly 8 olympic gold medal, Michael started swimming when he was just 9. He lived in a family of swimmers and won plenty of swimming competition.

 

I’m sure u know hu diz guys are!

  Lebron James and Kobe Brian… US team has dominated the Olympics men’s basketball since they started sending professional players in 1992 until last Athen’s Olympics, the US team was defeated by Argentina.

The Australian 4×100m freestyle relay team consisting of Alice Mills, LIbby Lenton, Petria Thomas and Jodie Henry was able to beat the world record  by 0.06 second… Wow!!! That sure is a lucky swim!!!

PHILIPPINE TEAM FOR BEIJING OLYMPICS

Boxing - Harry Tanamor

Taekwondo - jins Mary Antonoinette Rivero, Tsomlee Go

ARchery - Mark Javier

Shooting - Eric Ang

Weightlifting - Hidilyn Diaz

Tract and Field - Marestella TOrres and Henry Dagmil

Swimming - MIguel Molina, Ryan Arabejo, Daniel Coakley, James Walsh and Christel Simms and Shiela Mae Perez and Rexel RyanFabriga

 

Zai tien

August 17, 2008

 

 How many of my friends have to go?

The track? Elizabeth? Ysabel? Lourdz? Genna? Joanna? Rachelle? How many of them still? Do I still have to count them to assure the intensity of my selfish agony? This really made my day!!!

Lately, I received a message from heaven congratulating me for being a candidate for Ms. Lonely of the year. And, my horoscope isn’t any friendly either. My mom is in Singapore for some business trip. My dad is working for the government and always busy writing something. Kat doesn’t want to socialize with anyone and my brother has been fund of not participating with this family either. On my birthday, Joanna surprisingly bid farewell, because she’s going to some part of Switzerland to find a job…the home of Nokia… RDL told me that they’re all going to be taken by her father abroad…at least…her dream will soon come true… her family will be complete, at last…

I think, I’ll win that pageant for some consideration. I witness people die in hospitals everyday…and I can’t do anything about it except to write it on a piece of paper and passed it weekly in EPP class. I stopped doing that, after I saw the weird smile on the face of our professor by calling my name. While, others fulfill their dream and explore the world, I thought that anytime, it might be my turn to leave for good. I can’t imagine how sad would that be.

“Hey pare, I know it’s sad, but I’m going and I might never come back. So, goodbye then!”

“Okay, good luck to you in your new life! We’ll still keep in touch right?”

“Of course!”

So what’s the drama there?

There is actually none…………………do u really believe there is none? For just simple goodbye..you’ll never really know how sad it is to let a someone, who has been part of your life to go, unless you’ve experienced it yourself many times.

Pseudomonarchia Daemonum

July 21, 2008

-from Wikipedia- 

Demonology - the study of demons (from the ars goetia of king Solomon) Weyer formulated this pseudomonarchia Daemonum.

1. King Bael 2. Duke Agares 3. Prince Vassago 4. Marquis Samigina 5. President Marbas 6. Duke Valefar 7. Marquis Amon 8. Duke Barbatos 9. King Paimon 10. President Buer 11. Duke Gusion 12. Prince Sitri 13. King Beleth 14. Marquis Leraje 15. Duke Eligos 16. Duke Zepar 17. Count/President Botis 18. Duke Bathin 19. Duke Sallos 20. King Purson 21. Count/President Morax 22. Count/Prince Ipos 23. Duke Aim 24. Marquis Naberius

25. Count/President Glasya-Labolas 26. Duke Bune 27. Marquis/Count Ronove 28. Duke Berith 29. Duke Astaroth 30. Marquis Forneus 31. President Foras 32. King Asmodeus 33. Prince/President Gaap 34. Count Furfur 35. Marquis Marchosias 36. Prince Stolas 37. Marquis Phenex 38. Count Halphas 39. President Malphas 40. Count Raum 41. Duke Focalor 42. Duke Vepar 43. Marquis Sabnock 44. Marquis Shax 45. King/Count Vine 46. Count Bifrons 47. Duke Uvall 48. President Haagenti

49. Duke Crocell 50. Knight Furcas 51. King Balam 52. Duke Alloces 53. President Caim 54. Duke/Count Murmur 55. Prince Orobas 56. Duke Gremory 57. President Ose 58. President Amy 59. Marquis Orias 60. Duke Vapula 61. King/President Zagan 62. President Volac 63. Marquis Andras 64. Duke Flauros 65. Marquis Andrealphus 66. Marquis Cimejes 67. Duke Amdusias 68. King Belial 69. Marquis Decarabia 70. Prince Seere 71. Duke Dantalion 72. Count Andromalius

In the Movie Exorcism of Emily Rose (Laura Linney) directed by Scott Derrickson. It was based on a true story of Anneliese Michel, a young Catholic woman from Germany who died in 1976 after successful attempts to cure her from the alleged state of semonic possession with the use of psychotic drugs. In the movie Emily Rose was shown to be possessed by several that the girl was possessed with six underlying demons including Cain, Judas Iscariot, Nero, Belial, Legion and Lucifer. Whenever she’s controlled by the evil forces she either speak different Language such as Latin, German, Ancient Greek, Hebrew and Aramaic. She even tried to break her ties and jump out the window.

    The story rolls around the trial whereupon two parties are fighting for the conviction of Father Richard Moore, who was accused of Manslaugther after negligently allowing Emily to stop her medication for Epilepsy because of the belif that no medical knowledge can help the girl except God Himself. It entails the experience of the Lawyer Erin Bruner Cristine played by Laura Linney. She fights in defense of the Father Moore who performed the exorcism to Emily Rose. She battle the state lawyer and realiazed in the end how she has been transformed by all of these things.

The Six demons

 

Cain is known as the originator of murder. Cain, a farmer, commits the first murder by killing his brother Abel, a shepherd, after God rejects Cain’s sacrifice but accepts Abel’s.

 

Judas Iscariot one of the twelve original apostles of Jesus Christ. The chieft priests were looking for a sly way to arrest Jesus. They determine not to do so during the feast because they were afraid that the people would riot; instead, they chose the night before the feast to arrest him. He betrayed Jesus for a bribe of “thirty pieces of silver” by idetifying him with a kiss to arresting soldiers of the High Priest Caiaphas, who then turned Jesus over to Pontius Pilate.

 

Nero. Full name: Nero Claudius Caesar Agustus Germanicus. He rule from 54 to 68 AD. He’s rule associated with tyranny and extravagance. He is known for a number of executions, including his mother and adoptive brother as the emperor who fiddled while Rome burned, and an early persecutor of Christians. In 68 a military coup drove Nero into hiding. Facing execution he reportedly committed forced suicide.

Legion (Gerasene demon or Lots) from the Christian Bible book of Mark 5:9 and Luke 8:30. It tells of two men possessed by a multitude of demons. When Jesus traveled to the country of the Gardarenes and met a man possessed by an evil spirit. And he asked him, What is thy name? And he answered, saying, My name is Legion: for we are many. (Mark 5:9) And Jesus asked him, saying, What is thy name? And he said, Legion: because many devils we entered into him (Luke 8:30)

Belial  also named Matanbuchus which means “without worth” or “worthless”. The demons of lies and guilt. He commands 80 Legions of Demons. In early Christian writings, Belial was identified first as an angel of confusion and lus. He is the one convinced him to wage a rebellion in Heaven against God, and that Belial was the first of the fallen angels to be expelled. In the New Testament the word is used to refer to Satan when asked by St. Paul as to how Christ and Belial can agree. “What harmoney is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? (2 Cor 6:15)

Lucifer is a name frequently given to Satan in Christian belief because of a particular interpretation of a passage in the Book of Isaiah. More specifically, it is supposed to have been Satan’s name before being cast out of heaven. Lt “Light-bringer” a name for the Morning Star (planet venus) Luciferi primo cum sidere frigida rura carpamus, dum mane novum, dum gramina canent. Let us hasten, when first the Morning Star appears, to the cool pastures, while the day is new, while the grass is dewy.

 

Words that translated in the Bible that referring to Hell are sheol, Gehenna, Haides, tartaros or choras (Grk) or abyssos (bottomless death).